Chicago Marathon update: Andrew sees H.O.M.E. in action

Aug 10

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Andrew My nephew Andrew Lawton is running the Bank of America Chicago Marathon on October 11 and is raising funds for H.O.M.E. His goal is $4,500 and so far he is about 20 percent of the way there.

Last month he visited my wife and me in Chicago. Along with walking the new 606 multi-use recreational trail and the new River Walk, we visited Nathalie Salmon House. You can see photos and read Andrew’s blog about his visit here.

Andrew_and_Bruce

We also blogged about Andrew last month.

While he was here, Andrew said several times how surprised he was by what he saw and what he learned about Nathalie Salmon House. Earlier this week I asked him to explain how he was surprised. His explanation was very insightful:

That was the first surprise: H.O.M.E. isn't an "old folks home"

When I came to Chicago I carried with me my own memories and experiences of "old people" and their "homes." I've seen a variety of situations in my limited exposure. Papa, in his long decline, stayed for a day a week at what was basically day care for seniors. He then was in a fancy and then less fancy nursing home.

I've visited a few other seniors in nursing homes and other extended care situations. They were all different. But they were all depressing. Some were nice and bright with fish tanks and song birds. Others were dingy with loud TVs. But in each place there were scattered seniors, like an untidy mess, just sitting.

I'm not sure why that bothered me then so much. It isn't the staff's fault. When visiting Papa I would watch seniors escaping from whatever room they were in. They seemed to scatter on purpose. Still everyone seemed lost and lonely and always waiting.

So that was one part of the surprise. And that is mostly my own fault. You are not providing a nursing home. I knew that, but I didn't. I didn't know what you were providing even existed. Furthermore, and many of the seniors that scatter in those other places probably need a lot of care and would do the same at H.O.M.E. (not to hate on the nursing homes). Obviously many seniors have serious physical and mental needs and they require a different set up.

The second surprise: H.O.M.E. isn't institutional

The second surprise was that you were providing seniors with real homes. Everything I had seen before was sterile and industrialized and mechanized for economy and ease and control. I guess I was expecting to have to lower my standards and put on a big smile and pretend things were good.

At nursing homes I've seen the rooms of seniors with families that love and support them. There are decorations and pictures in their rooms. They try to make it a bit softer. But somehow things seem even more sad and sterile.

When one of the residents of Nathalie Salmon House invited several of us into his apartment I was honestly almost confused. This wasn't institutional. This wasn't some program housing. This wasn't sterile and cold and lonely. This was just their home—nothing more and absolutely nothing less. I think it was the beaded curtain in the doorway of the kitchen that did it for me. It was pulled and tied to the side—which I found ridiculous. Why have a beaded curtain and then not use it? But they had it because they had it. Because this was their home.

I had seen seniors who seemed to be all together mentally at Papa's nursing home. I felt so horrified for them as they sat in that sad place. Maybe they had limited resources and found themselves without other options. Perhaps they could have been better suited to a H.O.M.E. type of environment.

This is what H.O.M.E. is: a community

H.O.M.E. is subsidized housing. H.O.M.E. fosters community within their housing (maybe they were putting on a good show but many of the seniors I met seemed to be able to get along with each other—they talked of playing games just the night before). In short, H.O.M.E. enables seniors to live. That sounds simple. But seeing it in action was beautiful. Seeing it in action made me realize that for many seniors finding a way to live, to live well, to live independently, to live with community, is very difficult.

I didn't realize such a basic need was not being met.

The rest of the staff and I sometimes struggle to put into words exactly what we do in our intergenerational housing program--it's truly unlike most of the things people think about when they think about senior housing. I think Andrew gave us some new insights. As Andrew said:

Seniors who come to live with us often find us when they have become overwhelmed—overwhelmed by their financial situation, and trying to keep up their home, and managing their financial situation and medical situations. And often, they are overwhelmed by loneliness. We find a way for these seniors to live well, to live independently and to live in a community.

Now back to Andrew. He is running the Marathon to support H.O.M.E. and he has reached almost 20 percent of his goal. We need your support. You can encourage Andrew and us by giving a generous gift. Be sure to write Marathon in the notes section so that we can let Andrew know about your support.

If you'd like to see H.O.M.E. in action, we'd love to give you a tour of Nathalie Salmon House and introduce you to our community.